First strike
Landfall — Whenever a land you control enters, this creature gets +2/+2 until end of turn.

(: Add .)

Choose target permanent card in your graveyard. If it has mana value 3 or less, you may put it onto the battlefield. If you don't put it onto the battlefield, put it into your hand.
You gain 3 life.

Humans you control get +1/+1.
, Tap two untapped Humans you control: Tap target creature an opponent controls.

Flying
When this creature enters, you gain 2 life.

When Spider-Ham enters, create a Food token. (It's an artifact with ", , Sacrifice this token: You gain 3 life.")
Animal May-Ham — Other Spiders, Boars, Bats, Bears, Birds, Cats, Dogs, Frogs, Jackals, Lizards, Mice, Otters, Rabbits, Raccoons, Rats, Squirrels, Turtles, and Wolves you control get +1/+1.

: Add one mana of any color.
, , Sacrifice this artifact: Destroy target creature or enchantment.

Everlasting Lich can't block.
Everlasting Lich can't die. (This creature has indestructible, can't be sacrificed, and doesn't go to the graveyard for having 0 toughness.)

When this creature dies, create a Treasure token. (It's an artifact with ", Sacrifice this token: Add one mana of any color.")
Blitz (If you cast this spell for its blitz cost, it gains haste and "When this creature dies, draw a card." Sacrifice it at the beginning of the next end step.)

Flying
Whenever an artifact you control enters, put a +1/+1 counter on Donatello.

Other Zombies you control get +1/+1.
, : All Zombies gain menace until end of turn.

Landfall — Whenever a land you control enters, investigate. (Create a Clue token. It's an artifact with ", Sacrifice this token: Draw a card.")
Whenever you sacrifice a Clue, put a +1/+1 counter on this creature.

Whenever you cast a Spirit or Arcane spell, put a +1/+1 counter on target creature.

This artifact enters tapped.
: Add two mana of different colors.

Target creature gains double strike until end of turn.
Ferocious — That creature also gains trample until end of turn if you control a creature with power 4 or greater.

The "legend rule" doesn't apply to creatures you control.
At the beginning of combat on your turn, if you've cast a noncreature spell this turn, create a token that's a copy of Council of Reeds.

When Admiral Brass enters, mill four cards.
At the beginning of combat on your turn, you may return target Pirate creature card from your graveyard to the battlefield with a finality counter on it. It has base power and toughness 4/4. It gains haste until end of turn. (If a creature with a finality counter on it would die, exile it instead.)

Counter target spell.

Exile target creature.

Whenever equipped creature attacks, you may return a land you control to its owner's hand. If you do, the creature gets +2/+2 until end of turn.
Equip